| I am the only one |
[15 Jul 2009|05:13am] |
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in my house that is falling asleep at five am instead of waking up at five am. gross.
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| it sucks |
[15 Jul 2009|03:00am] |
to have a small crush on a boy for years and then FINALLY kiss him
only to have exactly nothing more than that happen. ugh.
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| birthday.. dont forget one single thing plz! |
[24 Jun 2009|09:42am] |
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mood |
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 contemplative |
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music |
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modest mouse/ sun kil moon playlist extravaganza |
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What a fantastic way to ring in the new year!
I woke up to a note from my mom on the board in the kitchen, something that never happens to me.
My phone must have rang 30 times while i was in class today, people wishing me love and leaving me birthday messages.. i LOVE love and i need it sometimes (we all do, dont we?)
class let out four hours early.. shaweeeet!
My mom cooked my fav dinner and because my brother eats so much she cooked two chickens and sweetly thought to give me the wishbones. I broke one and got the wish end of the bone and was bombastically pleased with the wish that I made because it was a responsible hope for the future wish.
cake and ice cream, made the body of my powerpoint for my final bio presentation and it's awesome
Kim and brendan convinced me to go out to the bar and kim bought me every drink i could have drank and then brendan gave me aderols so that i would be able to go home and work on my project some more without being a drunken sloppy mess about it
got french fries from haven brothers and ate them at the co-op to sober up and made it home safe as can be
Kelly gave me the most beautiful bracelet and a note telling me how much she values me as a friend <3
my mom gave me money for a box of contact lenses, a big bottle of nail polish remover, enough of my fav hair goop to last me two months and that AMAZING dinner and cake, and my dad gave me fifty dollars worth of cigarettes.
Not one single thing went wrong yesterday and i managed to spend a ton of quality time with my fam and friends and my bio book.
A truly perfect birthday <123 maybe this whole year will be so perfect? either way, i know it will be this hopeful.
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| best |
[16 Feb 2009|01:25am] |
King Nixon (1:12:49 AM): ONCE UPON A TIME there was a kelly of great price
Auto Response from ihateyourguts88 (1:12:50 AM): sew what?
King Nixon returned at 1:12:50 AM.
King Nixon (1:13:16 AM): many wanted to purchase her but they did not have enough for the down payment, let alone the coupons that made her half off on thursdays after 6pm
King Nixon (1:13:51 AM): so she sat in her display case at the store (kellys 'n' things) sewing d20 cosies
King Nixon (1:14:15 AM): one day a magical prince walked in and said I WILL HAVE ALL YOU SELL FOR MY MUSEUM OF WONDEROUS GLORY
King Nixon (1:14:25 AM): he talked in all caps because he was so magical
King Nixon (1:15:12 AM): he had lots of money that he found in a hole in the ground where leprechauns hid it to keep it away from poison snakes, who as everyone knows love to steal
King Nixon (1:15:21 AM): but those leprechauns didn't count on the magical prince!!!
King Nixon (1:15:25 AM): so he had lots of money
King Nixon (1:15:53 AM): but there was a clause in the kelly's purchase contract that said she could cancel it adn go back to the store anytime she wanted if the purchaser was not sufficiently awesome
King Nixon (1:16:02 AM): so the magical prince put on a sweet hat
King Nixon (1:16:17 AM): it had little sparklers and a thing that spun around and sound effects and neon light-up bits
King Nixon (1:16:18 AM): it ruled
King Nixon (1:16:27 AM): and he was totally awesome because he had that hat
King Nixon (1:16:36 AM): so kelly was happy
King Nixon (1:16:55 AM): and took his hat and punched him for having stupid shoes and now she lives on the moon
King Nixon (1:16:56 AM): THE END
King Nixon (1:17:21 AM): !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
King Nixon went away at 1:20:41 AM.
ihateyourguts88 (1:24:23 AM): omg dan
Auto Response from King Nixon (1:24:23 AM): King Nixon (1:16:33 AM): THE END
King Nixon (1:16:58 AM): !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
ihateyourguts88 (1:24:35 AM): favorite story evar
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[27 Jan 2009|04:24pm] |
ihateyourguts88 (4:22:49 PM): you sir have made a mistake.
Auto Response from PenroseRocker (4:22:49 PM): Hold on to what you can.
Not everything lasts forever.
ihateyourguts88 (4:22:54 PM): i'm not your fool anymore
PenroseRocker (4:23:10 PM): okay. that's fair.
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[27 Jan 2009|04:13pm] |
Because CLEARLY ya fuckin retard, the first, second and third time worked out just like magic.
the only thing i would do if put into the same room as you would be spit in your face and ruin your pretty dress. and i mean hack a winner in your eye socket.
ugh
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| yeah right |
[27 Jan 2009|04:46am] |
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You may forget that your feelings need to be expressed out in the open, because sometimes it seems easier to keep them to yourself. But this isn't the case now, for anything that you don't say will only strengthen in intensity. If you continue to keep your emotions inside, they will likely appear as a projection when someone shows up with unexpected negativity that's aimed at you. Your best defense is to react honestly and openly in the present moment.
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| I feel like I'm coaching the Special Olympics. |
[27 Jan 2009|04:43am] |
I know that I've been forbidden to talk to you, see you, or hang out in any area where you might be around.
And there was that time back in November when I was at Starbucks and you were there, but that's only because I was told that there was NO CHANCE that you would be there. Otherwise, you know, I would have respected your wishes and kept myself completely removed from your life.
So, it's against my better judgment that I'm sending you this message. It's been over 5 months since the last time I've talked to you, and I understand if you still don't want me in your life whatsoever and you don't want to see me, hear about me, talk to me, or anything.
But maybe time does heal all wounds. And maybe after 5 months, all the awful things we said and did out of aggression and anger in the moment can dissipate. Or maybe not.
So, here goes. The band is breaking up at the end of next month. We're playing our last show at Club Hell February 27th. And you totally don't need to go at all if you don't want to. You don't need to have any involvement in my life whatsoever if you still don't want to. But even after everything that's happened, you still mean a lot to me, and you still, as I always promised you will, have a special place in my heart. You did a lot to impact me, and the band, and it would mean a lot to me if you went.
I'll understand if you completely ignore this message.
And I'll understand if you don't go to the show.
But if I never put it out there, then I'd never know.
I do hope that all is well.
Take care.
Robb
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| what the fuck |
[18 Oct 2008|04:28am] |
what am I doing?
I have no car.
I'm not in school.
Is this normalcy at it's best?
did I give up somewhere along the line and miss it all together?
I'm tired.
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| jesus fucking christ |
[08 Oct 2008|05:17am] |
You may be able to feel the shift of energy as the Moon enters emotionally detached Aquarius midday, making you feel like a Crab out of water. Anxiety may surface when you cannot get in touch with your own feelings, reminding you of a previous time when you were avoiding a difficult issue. But this isn't then, so don't shift your old fears to the present moment. Rest assured that your emotional connection will return when you are more relaxed about it.
this should have been my horoscope for the the entire fucking summer.
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| so tonight |
[07 Oct 2008|04:13am] |
I drunkenly kissed scott otis.
I know he doesnt deserve me
I told him such.
I dont even care if it's sending him the wrong message
I dont care.
I just want the loser sunken battlehip feeling to be gone from my abdomen.
god help me.
I wish i didn't fall in love a thousand times a day.
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| I havn't felt this full |
[06 Oct 2008|03:39am] |
I haven't felt this full inside for a long time.
imagine that every feeling you could have is actually a balloon inside of you, deflated until felt. maybe in your chest or belly. it doesn't matter.
now imagine that when you feel each feeling the designated balloon fills.
and it fills proportionately to the intensity of the feeling
the balloons will never pop as i don't think anyone will ever realize their feelings to capacity.
I've got an awful lot of inflated balloons right now.
some are small. i imagine that quite a few of them are green but there are also red orange blue and white. some are more inflated than they have ever been. some are big, some HUGE.
and some have stayed at normal inflation levels, just the bigger balloons are taking my mind off. in other words, i could pop. i probably wont, but it sure feels strange.
on another note, I really dig riding my bike for longish (8 to 10 miles) rides when it's freezing out. Its completely liberating to pedal past the burn to the point that you can't even feel it when you go uphill and not even have a drop of sweat on your brow from the cold. I enjoy running the wailing sounds of Ian Metzger's voice through my head. Telemarket mishap was a favorite tonight.
also, my horoscope for today:
You are in the midst of a controversy because you cannot get overly serious now about the changes ahead. Others may be trying to show you why you must be more mature and responsible, but you are ready for a bit of fun. The somber Capricorn Moon is not a good indicator for a party, but supportive fellowship amongst your peers can help you through these rather rocky times.
talk about fucking balloons, man oh man.
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| Just thinking, from Scott Otis |
[03 Oct 2008|03:30am] |
I am a Boner. I miss you. You are awesome. I'm glad you came by that night, cause it makes me feel good to hold you. I hope your car gets fixed up quickly and cheaply, and I hope that your mom's plan worked and you didn't get in trouble. Don't mean to bother you, just wanted to say those things cause I was trying to go to sleep and they were stuck in my head. Oh, I am very sorry. You will be fine cause you are good at things and stuff, and are awesome.
Goodnight, Scott.
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| holy fuck. are you kidding me? |
[15 Sep 2008|02:56am] |
hi
i apologise for raising my voice toward you and swearing at you. that flies in the face of my beliefs. no woman should be yelled at by a man, ever. its just that even after all this time, i guess its easy for you to get this reaction from me. ever since we split, you were nothing short of a pitbull towards me and i thought of the other night as another backhand at me. i guess i was wrong.
no matter how good my life may be these days, no matter how many great brothers and siaters im surrounded by ,everyone close to me knows there is a girl in my past who the thought of hurts me deeply.i know it was for the best that we ended when we did, i was miserable and very isolated and it would not have worked out at that time.but the truth is i will never be over you and i will ALWAYS love you.i would sacrafice anything to spend one stinking day with you. i do however still want the best for you, so i will never go to starbucks again, never message you again, never intentionally contact you again. again, i apologise to you and your coworker also. kenny
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| Cosmic Charlie |
[14 Sep 2008|03:16am] |
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mood |
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 grateful |
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music |
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eternally. |
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Cosmic Charlie how do you do? Truckin' in style along the avenue.
Dum de dum de dooodley do. Go on home your mama's calling you.
Kalico, Kahlia, come tell me the news.
Calamity's waiting for a way to get to her.
Rosy red and electric blue I bought you a paddle for your paper canoe.
Say you'll come back when you can Whenever your airplane happens to land.
Maybe I'll be back here too It all depends on what's with you.
Hung up waiting for a windy day kite one ice since the first of February.
Mama keeps saying that the wind might blow ,
But standing here I say I just don't know.
New ones comin' as the old ones go,
Everything's moving here but much too slow now,
A little bit quicker and we might have time,
To say "How do you do?" before we're left behind.
Calliope wail like a seaside zoo. The very last lately inquired about you,
It's really very one or two. The first you wanted, the last I knew.
I just wonder if you shouldn't feel,
Less concerned about the people unreal.
The very first word is "How do you do?",
The last "Go home your mama's callin' you."
Calling you, calling you, calling you, calling you,
Go on home your mama's calling you.
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[13 Sep 2008|06:00pm] |
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It could crash at any second. Follow me, I know the way.
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[13 Sep 2008|04:32am] |
From: Kelly [is a pumpkin]
Date: Sep 13, 2008 4:26 AM
Hi,
So I think that we should set things to some sort of straight. I want you to know that just like you feel a rush of excitement, I do also( UH ). A lot of things between us I feel were unresolved, and it's things that I have found a way to forgive or move past, and that includes my behavior while we were together as well as yours.( UH )Seeing you makes me feel hurt.. like.. crazy hurt. When I ask you to not come to the place that I work, it's not a dig at you in the least. It's more like.. what person wants to feel a rush of emotion at work? unexpected, unwarranted, seriously strong ( UH ) emotion in a place where you aren't allowed to take a minute to yourself? Please imagine yourself being cornered by someone that you don't really want to be cornered by.. you would fight, right? ( UH ) I know you would. It's not that I don't want to meet your new girlfriend ( UH ) or that I hate the shit out of you ( UH ), it's that you catch me off guard in a place that I feel is like a second home to me, somewhere that I let my guard down. When I told you tonight not to come to the thayer street starbucks, I was short with you. I'm sorry for the way that I approached the situation but I was panicking. I was looking more for a solution to the problem of the possibility of feeling that unexpected rush of emotion, which is if you remember me at all, quite an unpleasant thing for me.
So I guess what I want you to know is that my asking you not to come around is not something that I am asking of you in order to fight, and I don't appreciate you swearing at me for it. It's more of me asking you to be respectful that the place where I work is somewhat of a sanctuary, something that I enjoy. I would like to think that you are still an understanding person and please let me know what I can do to alleviate the situation, if at all you would consider this a situation.( UH )
I'm sorry if my reaction to your visit tonight was more than you asked for. ( UH )I am aware that you can go anywhere that you want to go, including the store that I work at.( UH ) I'm just asking that you please let me have my place of work. I understand if I am working at a new store or a store that is other than mine and we run into each other by mistake.. but you know where I work and you saw me in there before you walked in the door. right? If you did care for me at all or care for my wellbeing now, please just know that you coming in for a coffee is not as simple when you are boxed in on the other side of the counter.
Thank you for your understanding,
Kelly
----------------- Original Message -----------------
From: seabass
Date: Aug 12, 2008 6:48 PM
damn benseeyy, was quite a strange feeling seeing you at the bux last month. not sure if it was excitement, fear, or just a rush of old feelings and memories. (it wasnt planned). you looked great. i guess no matter how much time goes by, your not forgotten . i hope you are doing well.. kenny
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